Getting out of Dodge

Many years ago when we only had two small girls, Matt and I went to a two hour presentation because we were told that as an appreciation gift, we would receive a two night stay in Vancouver. We had no clue what the presentation was going to be and frankly we didn't care.  Those two nights in Vancouver sounded wonderful.  
Turns out it was a company selling vacation timeshares. Neither Matt or I grew up in a family that vacationed. Ever.  We did travel.  Matt's family traveled a lot and my family a little.  When we traveled it was to visit family and we always drove straight through and did not stay in hotels or eat at restaurants.  I don't blame my parents at all. We rarely take our six kids to hotels or restaurants and taking 11 would be crazy! Matt and I almost bought a timeshare that day.  We wanted to.  They had a great presentation and they stressed how wonderful vacations are for families.  Basically, a family that vacations together, stays together. Also a vacation was defined as a destination that did not involve staying in someone else's home. Especially relatives.  It also wasn't camping. 

Three years ago we took our first family vacation.  It was only two nights over spring break.  We didn't go far-just over the pass close to Leavenworth. We had snow and a hot tub and a really nice cabin.  It was amazing and the kids talked about it for the entire year. We did it again the following year in February.  Three nights, lots of snow and a hot tub. The kids recount every detail.  

We are leaving on Monday and this time we are going for 4 nights. There might be snow and there is a hot tub. We have been looking forward to it ever since Christmas. Our 4 year old is the most anxious one of all if that is even possible. 

This year Matt and I are starting to see the benefits of this time away.  I think the kids would all agree that it is more exciting then Christmas.  Parenting is so difficult when the kids are all little and every drink of water has to be served and they can't even do the basics like wipe themselves.  It is physically exhausting.  I thought it was supposed to get easier but in reality parenting is never easy.  We have a teenager now and two more that are on the verge. Parenting is down right crazy. More then ever, I wonder if we are doing anything right. 

Going away together just to be is the time that cements everything that we work for all year long.  We relax together differently then any other time.  I don't even know why that is but I know that it is life changing as a family. 

It is also so simple.  Being a "big" family does make certain things more difficult.  We may never end up taking them to Disneyland. Buying plane tickets for eight people is eye opening.  Road trips are fun but eight people on the road for days on end requires heavenly patience.  So far our vacations have been approx three hours of driving. We hardly even need to stop for a potty break. We make really simple meals on vacation and have treats like unlimited hot chocolate. We have no bedtime or alarms.  We play lots of games together. We talk about a lot of things.

Because we go in February we get some decent discounts.  For anyone that lives in the PNW, you know that January and February is when the weather tries to suck out your soul.  In the summer when people traditionally think of going on a vacation, we live in the most beautiful place on earth.  We don't want to go anywhere.  Go on a vacation in February revives us enough to make it through another 6 weeks of rain. 

I know that the things we heard 12 years ago about the value of a family vacation stuck with us and I am so grateful that we have been able to put it into practice in such a simple way.  If you haven't tried it you should. 

Truth Can Only Free You If You Know The Truth

There is only one crime that I can think of where the victim gets blamed.  If you are mugged when you walk down the street no one will tell you that it is your fault for carrying such a nice bag.  If your house gets broken into, no one will tell you that it is your fault because you didn't have an alarm system.  If your car is stolen, no one will tell you that you should have known better then to buy that type of car.

If you are sexually molested or raped, you will hear that it was your fault.  It will start with your own thoughts.  You will blame yourself because you went running at night.  You will blame yourself because you went to the party and had too much to drink.  Others will blame you. You will hear that it was your fault because of what your were wearing.  It was your fault because you were rebellious to your parents.  It was your fault because you "led" your boyfriend on.  It was your fault because you are pretty.  It is your fault because you didn't fight back. It is your fault because you had a loose reputation.  It is the only crime where the victim is doubted and blamed either partially or entirely.

This is not true.  Even if it is true that you went running in the dark by yourself.  Even if you weren't wearing appropriate clothes (whatever that is). Even if you got wasted at a party and can't remember what happened.  Even if you ran away from home and were living on the streets.  Even if you stayed out past curfew.  Even if you lied about who you were with. Even if you invited your boyfriend into your room.  Even if you said "yes" and then changed your mind.  It is NOT your fault.

It goes without saying that children, girls and women are the most common victims of sexual crimes and men are the most common perpetrators.  When we put the blame on the victim we are saying that men have no self control and that they are basically animals and that girls and woman are responsible for the actions of men.  We all know that isn't true.

I realize that this seems really out of the blue as a post from me.  It isn't.  This makes my blood boil and has for years.  It is the worst in religious settings.  Things are glossed over and the victim is blamed. People look the other way.

I believe that the reason most sexual crimes are not reported is because the victim takes the blame.  I know that there are girls and women everywhere that have pain in their hearts because they are taking the blame for what happened to them.  The truth can only set your free when you know what the truth is.  It wasn't your fault.