Grounded

A few weeks ago I was privileged to be at a beautiful home birth. It was the first birth I have been to since being an official Student Midwife. Not only was I able to attend the birth, I did my first newborn exam. The midwife at the birth walked me through each step and it was beautiful. I left that birth on a high that lasted for days!

  Birth can take so many different directions and means so many different things. It is the beginning of a new family or the creation of a larger family. It is a time of transformation. It is nitty gritty. It is finding strength you didn't know existed in the universe. It is opening up your heart to a huge love. It is hard. It is awesome.

When I think about the enormity of what I have set out to do... Five years of being a wife, mother, and student, and assistant midwife. It means that our family will have to move several times. It means that just about everything else in life has to be pared away to make time. There are more un-knowns then there are knowns. It is overwhelming to the point of taking it one week at a time.

The family sent me pictures of the birth and one was my hands during the newborn exam. This is what grounds me. This is what makes it worth the struggle. I know why am working towards being a midwife. I know that it is a good work that I am called to.

This picture made me think of the an assignment from one of my classes. We were supposed to write about our hands.

My Hands

I have always loved my hands because ever since I was just a little girl my mom would tell me that my hands are beautiful and that they are my grandmother's hands. I love the strength in my hands. They got strong when as an eight year old I started milking the family cow twice a day. They are the hands of a farm girl that rode horses, birthed baby pigs that were stuck, and applied pressure to stop the bleeding of barbed wire cuts on our horses. They are lovers hands. Hands that hold my husband close and also fill him with confidence. They massage his tired muscles at the end of the day and he leans into them. I love the mothering in my hands. They fix so many lunches and brush and braid hair everyday. They clean and clean. They hug. They are fast and can catch things that are falling off counters and have good reflexes. They have folded unbelievable amounts of laundry. They are masters at fixing things that are hurt or broken. There is midwifery in these hands. They aren't afraid to reach out to others. They aren't afraid to take challenges by the horns and wrestle them into submission. They have gently cradled a newborn and they have given some serious counter pressure! They have been squeezed bloodless during a contraction and they have wiped away sweat and tears. Hands are our most useful human feature!